Hello folks. This blog post is not exactly about adoption, but rather more about our journey to becoming parents and some of the stuff I have noticed.
We do not know if we will adopt a girl or a boy. If I am totally honest, I want a girl. I want to be able to help raise a strong, independent woman that does not feel she has to conform to what society says. As a woman myself, this of course is dear to my heart. Shopping for gender neutral clothes for babies has really opened my eyes on how much society makes boys conform to a "manly"ideal.
First off, most of the baby clothes are pink and purple for girls, blue and brown for boys. Flowers and butterflies for girls, trucks and sports for boys. I find myself of course gravitating towards the few items in yellow, green and orange. But I do find myself also getting blue, as if it is a girl, who cares if she is wearing blue? This is where things get really confining for boys. It is ok for girls to dress like a tom boy, but put a boy in a pink onsie??? I can only imagine the reaction from people!
This of course reminds me of that Madonna song,
What it Feels Like For a Girl:
"Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
What it feels like for a girl"
Somehow it is degrading for boys to be seen as feminine, in the way they dress, or act. It is seen as weak to show emotion, or to "throw like a girl." I hope things may be getting better, as homosexuality is becoming more of a non-issue. But I do know many guys that would still be insulted if they were thought of as gay, or girly!
All of this starts off at birth, when you buy pink or blue clothes for your newborn. Really, the scale of this is so daunting to one that wants things to be different. For one that does not want their child to be defined by the color they are wearing, or the fact that there may be a flower on their shirt. (why are flowers girly anyways??? Who made up these rules?)
I think I have always known that this is how it is, but in preparing for our child to come home, it is so "in your face" that I cannot help but express my sadness that we put girls and boys in these roles right off the bat.
Anyways, thanks for reading my rant.