Saturday, June 26, 2010

Overwhelmed!

So we have started looking into the stuff that you need to get when you have a baby in the house, and all I can say is that it is so overwhelming! I mean, I have never paid much attention to this stuff beforehand, so it is a lot to learn about. We were going to go register next weekend, so I want to be as prepared as possible, but it seems as if there is a lot of unnecessary stuff out there!
Some of my questions:

Bassinet vs. pack n play? A lot of them seem very similar, can't you just use one for both purposes?

Bottles; what is a good, BPA free brand?

What is a good infant seat? Do I want to be able to attach it to the stroller?

I guess I will stop there, as that covers the three main areas, sleep, feeding and transporting.

On a small side note... has anyone been watching the World Cup? Today's loss was pretty heartbreaking, and this is coming from someone that has never paid much attention to the Cup. But there was something about this time, that seemed to capture America's interest.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Open Adoption and Extended Family

When Adam and I told our families that we were going to adopt, they were all surprisingly positive and excited for us. I say "surprisingly" because I have read all of these articles about families not being as supportive as some would have liked. We explained what open adoption is, and why we thought it was best for all involved. Some family members, I won't name names, voiced concern about the possibility of a birthmother turning into a stalker. I hope we put that concern to rest. But it does show that our families probably have not done all the research that we did before we decided on adoption, so giving them a learning curve is probably a good idea. Reading this blog post by our agency reminded me of this fact.

Does anyone have a good booklet, or book that is not too dense that would be good to give to family? This thought keeps popping up in my brain, but then I forget about it. But I really think it would be beneficial for all of us, for family to have a resource to look to when they have questions.

Also, our profile is up at iheartadoption.org. Check it out!
Adam and Kammie's profile.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Marketing & Outreach

So now that we are officially waiting to be matched, I have been reading up on the ways to market ourselves and get the word out there that we are waiting to adopt. I have to say that I am very uncomfortable with this aspect. I have heard many stories of how waiting families have met their birthparents through a friend who knew someone who was pregnant and thinking about adoption. I have never been someone who was able to market myself well, as I think back to certain job interviews. And it just feels kind of slimy going around and asking people if they know of any opportunities for us to get a baby!

How do you guys feel about this? I think it may be different if you have an outgoing personality, but I am pretty shy and quiet around people that I do not know well, and Adam is pretty introverted too.

Over a year ago, after we pretty much had made the decision to adopt, I was in a CVS drug store buying something or other, and I was in the aisle with the feminine hygiene products and pregnancy tests. Something caught my eye hanging off the shelf in front of the pregnancy tests. As I got closer, I realized there were several little business-like cards hanging on some of the tests. They were from a couple that was waiting to adopt. I was astounded! As I read the card about this family, I noticed they were using the same agency (IAC) that we were settling on. I hoped we weren't going to be expected to do something like that! Of course, it is up to us if we want to do any of our own outside marketing. As of right now, I don't think we will do much of our own outreach. But ask me again after we have been waiting for six months and have had no interest in our profile!

So have you seen any creative marketing ideas out there? What are you planning on doing in this regard? It is always so interesting to see how different people have different approaches to certain situations.

Friday, June 4, 2010

An Apt Analogy


I just read this on babysuereth.blogspot.com/ and I thought it was such an apt analogy in how it can feel when becoming a parent doesn't happen quite like how you expected it to.

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip. So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat." "By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat. It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather then by air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy." You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.


By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Thoughts on baby shower


So I was wondering what your thoughts are on baby showers? Does the idea of having one while waiting to adopt feel awkward? Will the gifts serve as a painful reminder that you are still waiting? Or do you feel as if it is one of those cultural milestones for couples about to become parents? Maybe it helps to make you feel prepared for when baby does arrive? Maybe it will be a fun way to get your family and friends involved in preparing for the little one?

I must admit that I am in the latter group. Adam's Stepmom and one of our friends are going to throw us a shower, most likely at the end of August. I am so excited about this. I think it makes this seem even more real. Even though we are now "paper pregnant", it still feels as if the idea of us actually having a baby in our house is an abstract concept, I am sure many couples have felt this way with their first child, biological or adopted. Even though we might be in for a long wait, I think that these steps help us prepare, and I do not think I will be bothered by reminders around the house that we are still waiting.

So tell me what you think. I know everyone has different feelings towards this subject, and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Just a quick link....

http://www.celebratingadoption.org/index2.php

I found this link a few weeks ago on someone's blog. Sorry, I cannot remember where, as I find myself addicted to reading these and have read so many! Anyways, this seems to be a great project that was started in 2006 by a photographer that was touched by the adoption journey of a family that she photographed. Hopefully there are some photographers in your area that participate.